If you are a romance writer, you will at some point have to write a sex scene. While this may not hold true for everyone, for me, sex scenes are the the most difficult and yet exciting to write. There is a fine line between a well-written sex scene and erotica. Or perhaps there’s no line at all. It’s simply the words you choose to use.

There are all kinds of sex scenes with all different levels of heat, from the kiss-fade-to-black and mild groping, all the way to full frontal erotica that tests the limits of our taboos. Sex scenes actually can and should serve a real purpose in the story.

A sex scene can complicate or resolve a relationship. Sex can be used as one of the bad, impulsive, very human decisions that a character makes. Done right, a sex scene is a brutally accurate barometer about the psychological, physical, and emotional state of a character. Sex scenes can deepen our immersion in the world, identification with the characters, and indulgence in the fantasy and suspension of reality. Finally, sex can be used to explore some of the most profound ideas about human relationships, gender roles, and power.

So how do you write an effective sex scene?

I once took a workshop on this subject, and one thing the instructor said that stood out to me is, “If the sex scene you are writing does not get you hot and turned on, then you’re doing it wrong.” That’s one way to look at it.

I like focusing on what the characters are internalizing rather than the physical act itself. elf. Let me share with you a short scene from my new book, GHOSTLY INTERFERENCE.


Jag let his fingers drift down her jawline to a silky strand of hair. His lips almost grazed her cheek. Instead, he pulled away. He didn’t want to do anything to break the mood and send her hightailing it. “Hey, our hot chocolate is getting cold, and I have an idea I think you might like.”


“Come here. I’ll show you.” He crossed the distance to the far side of the living room where the stereo and bins filled with vinyl sat.


“Let’s look through these and see if we can find some Damien Blue albums.”

He pulled the bins out into the floor and they sat down.

“It’s kinda chilly over here. Think we could drag them over by the fireplace?” Rena rubbed her arms.

“Sure. But you’ll have to help me. They’re heavy.”

Together they pulled three bins in front of the fireplace. They sat cross-legged with their backs to the fire and thumbed through.

Rena squealed when she pulled out a Janis Joplin album. “Oh, this is my favorite of hers. Will you please put it on?”

“It would be my pleasure.” Jag bounded to his feet, and in less than a minute had the album on the turntable and had rejoined Rena.

Every time their hands brushed, Jag couldn’t deny the thrill that ran through him. The fact that she was in his house and wasn’t mad at him anymore was beyond what he’d dared to hope for.

“Here.” She opened a Jethro Tull album cover.

“Look at all the stuff hidden in this artwork.”

Jag leaned over and their heads touched while he looked where she pointed.

The closeness, warmth from the fire, and music on the turntable created a sort of magic. Desire, more powerful than any he’d ever felt, snaked up his spine and lodged low in his belly.

He placed a hand under Rena’s jaw and turned her toward him. Then he leaned down to satisfy his hunger for the taste of her.

She softened against him, and he deepened the kiss. When he slipped his tongue between her parted lips, she gasped and gripped his arm.

The world seemed to stop spinning and time stood still.

Jag groaned as his need grew, and he finally broke the kiss and sat back. “I’ve wanted to do that since the minute I laid eyes on you. You have no idea how beautiful you are.” He reached to touch her silky hair. “And you have the most kissable lips on the planet.”

She grinned. “Can I tell you a secret?”

He ran his fingertips across her lips. “Anything.”

“I wanted to kiss you too.”

A slow grin formed, and he pulled her into an embrace. He let his fingertips slide down her jaw and neck as he captured her mouth.

Rena was all that he wanted. She was everything he’d forced himself to stop dreaming of, everything good and right, everything that completed him.


I’d love to hear your thoughts on writing sex scenes!


Jag Peters has one goal in his quiet comfortable life—to keep his karma slate wiped clean. A near-miss crash with a candy apple red Harley threatens to upend his safe world. He tracks down the rider to apologize properly. Slipping into a seedy biker bar, he discovers the rider isn’t a “he”, it’s a “she”, a dark-haired beauty.

Rena Jett is a troubled soul, who lives in a rough world. She wants no part of Jag’s apology, but even while she pushes him away, she is attracted to him. When he claims to see a ghost—her brother—can she trust him? And could her brother’s final gift, a magical rune stone with the symbol for “happily ever after” have the power to heal her wounds and allow opposites to find common ground—perhaps even love?


AMAZON: https://www.amazon.com/Ghostly-Interference-White-Rune-Sikes-ebook/dp/B08KW1KFMW/

BARNES & NOBLE: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/ghostly-interference-jan-sikes/1137871003?



http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00CS9K8DK  (Author Page)


  1. […] The second stop today is at Wild Rose Press Author, Amber Daulton’s blog! Amber writes sizzling romantic suspense novels, so if that is your thing, check her out! https://amberdaulton.com/2020/12/14/newrelease-guestpost-ghostly-interference-by-jan-sikes… […]

  2. Thank you SO much, Amber, for letting me borrow your blog space to launch my new Wild Rose Press release! I truly appreciate it!

    1. You’re very welcome! Anytime.

  3. A lovely scene, Jan. Wishing you all the best with your new release!

    1. Thank you for stopping by, Judith! I’m glad you enjoyed the short excerpt!

  4. Congratulations on you release! D.V.

    1. Thank you, Donna! I appreciate your support!

  5. Jennifer Zander Wilck

    Okay, the instructor’s comment made me laugh! Good luck with your book.

    1. Lol, Jennifer. Me too, but she made a good point. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!

  6. This gave me goosebumps.

    1. Oh, wonderful to hear, Glenda! Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment!

  7. Great scene, Jan. Nothing bonds two characters together like a tender sex scene. I use them sparingly, but it’s powerful.

    1. Thank you, Ilona! I appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment today!!! I agree. These kinds of scenes can be powerful and bonding for the characters.

  8. An interesting blog post and a wonderful excerpt, Jan. Best of luck with your new release.

    1. Thank you so much, Jana! I appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment!

  9. Great scene and I love how you wrote it, Jan. Congratulations again on your new release. Thanks for hosting, Amber.

    1. Hi, Miriam! Thank you for visiting me at Amber’s site today! I appreciate your support!

      1. You’re very welcome, Jan!!

  10. Hi Jan, Hi Amber,
    In my opinion, a well-written sex scene has nothing to do with acrobatics but the emotional and mental state of the two people involved. And I believe you build upon it slowly. Sex is a part of a healthy relationship so I don’t name it erotic. It’s just a normal fact that takes place in a relationship.
    I enjoyed reading your opinion and the excerpt, Jan, and thank you Amber for hosting Jan. I must check out some of your books.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat Garcia

    1. Hi, Pat! I know your comment will be music to Amber’s ears! I love how you are so open to finding new books and authors! And thank you so much for hopping over to leave a comment today. Hugs!

  11. […] started yesterday with a bang! D.L. Finn and Amber Daulton hosted and if you missed the posts, click on their names to go take a […]

  12. Great scene, Jan! Slow and sexy. 🙂

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